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Analects

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On Love

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BDSM is an ideology stack—a collection of behaviours borne of a culture that surrounds some core set of human needs. But is it lazy? Hard to tell. It seems easy to explain away parts of it as hormone hijacking and socialisation, but there is something deeper there.

BDSM as a lazy ideology

Article

I write a lot about ideologies here. Rituals of thought and behaviour that come out of our need to automatically solve predictable problems of a complex world. I also point out that ideologies ‘stack’. They all sort of ‘stick together’, making these bundles of beliefs and behaviours. Most of these are lazy: stacks of ideologies we adopt just because they’re there. I reckon BDSM might be just one of these. It might be an ideology stack that people gravatate to, not because it’s the most efficient way of expressing some core human need, but because it’s just the most common. Let me explain what I mean.
BDSM is an ideology stack—a collection of behaviours borne of a culture that surrounds some core set of human needs. But is it lazy? Hard to tell. It seems easy to explain away parts of it as hormone hijacking and socialisation, but there is something deeper there.
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connection gratification on-(un)happiness on-culture on-love somatic-architecture thought-architecture

article

This book is basically, “men are terribly emotionally fragile, and they can make small steps to be better, but women need to just <em>stop bothering them with all their pedantry</em> and just let them be who they are.”

Men and women are from earth, fool pt. III

Article

I’m going to shit all over this ridiculous 30-year old pseudo-psychology book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus that people keep trying to talk to me about now that gender essentialism is getting trendy again. Here I cover Gray’s astonishment that ‘women’ might have ordinary needs. It is the most amusing, and infuriating, aspect of the book.
This book is basically, “men are terribly emotionally fragile, and they can make small steps to be better, but women need to just stop bothering them with all their pedantry and just let them be who they are.”
Read this article

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betterment collective-architecture connection on-(un)happiness on-culture on-love somatic-architecture

article

I guarantee, no matter how sexy traditional gender roles are to you, that you do <em>not</em> want to be like Gray’s ‘men’.

Men and women are from earth, fool pt. II

Article

I’m going to shit all over this ridiculous 30-year old pseudo-psychology book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus that people keep trying to talk to me about now that gender essentialism is getting trendy again. Here I cover, in depth, the emotional fragility of whatever it is Gray considers to be ‘men’.
I guarantee, no matter how sexy traditional gender roles are to you, that you do not want to be like Gray’s ‘men’.
Read this article

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betterment collective-architecture connection on-(un)happiness on-culture on-love somatic-architecture

article

Not only is there is absolutely no difference between men and women in how they complain or offer criticism, but the ‘men’ Gray describe could be used as textbook example of people with social anxiety.

Men and women are from earth, fool pt. I

Article

I’m going to shit all over this ridiculous 30-year old pseudo-psychology book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus that people keep trying to talk to me about now that gender essentialism is getting trendy again. Here I cover the obvious grifter that is John Gray, and his first, disturbing chapter.
Not only is there is absolutely no difference between men and women in how they complain or offer criticism, but the ‘men’ Gray describe could be used as textbook example of people with social anxiety.
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betterment collective-architecture connection on-(un)happiness on-culture on-love somatic-architecture

article

The success of the people we surround ourselves with directly influences our performance and sense of accomplishment. It’s worth paying attention to how we balance this, both with those more successful but also those less.

Our success is not our own

Article

Our happiness isn’t always in our hands. Sometimes it depends on the success of those around us, or the lack thereof. It might seem fairly obvious if I were to say that we compare ourselves to other people. I suspect we all know that on some level. But have you ever wondered why? And to what effect?
The success of the people we surround ourselves with directly influences our performance and sense of accomplishment. It’s worth paying attention to how we balance this, both with those more successful but also those less.
Read this article

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betterment collective-architecture connection on-(un)happiness on-culture on-friendship on-love on-thinking-and-reasoning somatic-architecture wealth-architecture
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